Why do we get afraid? What haunts us? Is it the dark past or the uncertain future? I wish to answer myself some of my own doubts through this post.
We fall, so that we can learn how to get up. Still we are unsecure about falling. Most of the time. When we are unaware of concrete facts, and we go on thinking about it, it leads up to fear. Fear from the fact that this unawareness could lead us to darkness. If it may hamper my plans I wish to obtain. If it may lead to my failure, and victory of something I hate to see winning against me.
Often we give up on our confidence. It’s not un-natural. Not abnormal. It’s just a sinusoidal trough of our confidence level. Our daily lives, appear to be the same. But every day exposes something new to us- something which may be pleasant to our senses or simply unpleasant experiences. When these unpleasant thoughts clog up our memory, we cease to see beyond the obvious. We forget the pleasant experiences, and the achieved goals. Simply because our mind is not able to rejuvenate its working, and the fear of having more unpleasant experiences loom in front of us.
New ideas stop coming. And the matters complicate.
We start blaming our abilities. We often doubt them. We ignore the basic fact that with the same abilities, we have worked wonders in the past. We start believing that we won’t be able to achieve what we seek. Not because it is unattainable. Because it is beyond our ability to achieve it. And thats the point where we need help.
The mind needs to question and answer itself at times. When we stop having fun, avoid risks, and turn pessimistic, the chances of failing increase. And this even compounds the problem. Every new failure not only kills our confidence, it gradually starts taking over our personality. We are no longer able to look into our own eyes in the mirror. Gods seem like an escape. Prayers gain priority. And the god within gets ignored. We start believing in chances more than opportunities to create favourable chances. Isn’t it?
We forget that we have a gift called time. There is always a second chance. God offers it when we expect it the least. And often, when the opportunity is back on our door knocking, we are weeping in the bathroom. Often unprepared. Ready for another defeat. Is that fair? Is this why we should be afraid?
Today, I saw myself in the mirror and realized the crisis I am going through. My problem is, I am trying to prioritize my goals over my calendar. Job to be secured by this time. Marriage to happen by this time. Loan by this time. And so on. Baah. J
And that’s when I just realized that these very priorities are functions of time itself. There is no point plucking a fruit when it is not ripe. Even if I can, the idea of tasting a unripe fruit is pointless. Life makes no meaning if we stop having fun and give our free will to time. How can we be so sure of something in the future, when I am not sure if this razor blade I am shaving with, is going to cut my cheek or not? I hardly have an idea what’s coming next.
I should be happy with the fact that I am preparing well. Good education. Great work experience. Loving family. Caring Girl friend. Supporting friends. And a nice future ahead. I should be living up every moment available with joy. Not with fear.
Quite possible that I won’t be able to achieve everything I have dreamt of. Might not get the job I have fancied. Might not get to settle down as planned. Might have trouble with my relationships. Things might change. So why should be I scared?
Don’t I have a history which taught me that not everything is possible at the same time? Haven’t I learned that failures are as inevitable as success? Haven’t I tasted failures as much as I have succeeded in life? Am not I standing right now, because I have more successful things in my life, than failure?
We don’t fail when we lose. We fail when we give up the hope to win.
Fear is for the ordinary. One needs to stand up against it and prepare for the fight. that defines the extra-ordinary. Everyday is a new fight, and as we push to sleep, it concludes a successful day that has been over. A share of life well realized. And waking up the next day, doesn’t it mean that we had won yesterday, and should win today as well?? Then, why this fear??
Sitting idle and counting on chance is an absolute wastage of time. If I want something, I should go and get it. Instead of complaining about the problems in acquiring it.
What should I be scared of? I have everything necessarily required to be successful. Just a thought of failing, which too is just a probability, cannot take away my confidence to succeed.
I am bound to win. It’s not that I can win; it’s just that I will win. I need time. And there is plenty of it available as I breathe. The world waits.
I am looking forward to tomorrow’s morning. A new day filled with challenges. And joy. J
Looks like I cut my cheek with this razor blade. Three learning’s: 1. Don’t shave at late night. 2. Change blades frequently. 3. Stop thinking too seriously. J
तू ज्ञानी है, अभिमानी है,
सर्वस्व विजय की ठानी है,
क्यूँ व्यर्थ ध्यान में लगा हुआ?
चिंता करना बेमानी है!
होती मुश्किल की उम्र नहीं,
उसे मौत कभी तो आनी है,
है सख़्त-जानी तो वही पुरुष,
कभी हार ना जिसने मानी है,
है राह भले आसान नही,
तू पथरीला पथ चढ़! कुछ कर? J
Piyush, I hope I answered your doubts. Have a nice sleep. Good night.